Some time ago, I came across something called The Spoon Theory. It followed an extremely difficult time in my life. I had struggled with some pretty debilitating chronic issues, and while I was surviving and seemed quite healthy as far as outside physical looks went, I was far from thriving.
I was plagued with chronic migraines; I had 12-15 migraine days a month. The symptoms of my migraines aren't only extreme pain, light and sound sensitivity, and nausea, but also ocular symptoms that would cause me to have visual disturbances and even lose vision.
Another chronic issue was often acute pelvic pain from suspected endometriosis. I say "suspected" because, after numerous ovarian cysts (one so severe that I had to undergo an emergency surgery at 14 due to ovarian torsion and a navel-orange sized ovarian cyst) and continuous intermittent pain, I decided to forgo another surgery for diagnosis. Who needs more scar tissue?
I had also experienced a severe bout with gastritis in May of 2019 that had me emergency room-bound for diagnosis, reconstructing and further restricting an already limited diet, and forced to seriously reconsider the amount of stress in my life.
I would have flairs of eczema that could not be linked or rooted to anything specific after product and ingredient eliminations galore. My C-reactive protein was pretty high; this is a blood marker for high inflammation.
Additionally, I have scoliosis. It's a mild case, and I thought that was the reason for years and years of chronic back and muscular pain. I had been through physical therapy and regularly saw a fantastic chiropractor. However, it continued to interrupt my life on a regular basis. The pain often brought me to tears by the end of the day.
Eventually, after continued visits with my primary care physician and several specialists I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia. This finally explained so many other symptoms that had existed for so long. Numbness and tingling in my fingers and toes. Raynaud's syndrome. Joint pain. Restless Leg Syndrome. Fatigue. Anxiety. Depression. Since that time, I have also been diagnosed with some pretty severe allergies and ADHD.
My aim here is not a ploy for sympathy! I am unexplainably lucky to have understanding and supportive sisters and friends, a caring boss, and one amazingly understanding husband. All this is to say that, we can look completely healthy on the outside and still be very unwell. Invisible disease can be especially difficult for people to explain to others. In a search for answers, validation, and additional support, I found The Spoon Theory. Initially, I came across the phrase in some online articles and saw it in an article on Healthline. This was what I had been seeking; a way to explain what it takes out of you to just be alive with chronic illness and pain.
I discovered that the creator of this theory was Christine Miserandino. Her website is butyoudontlooksick.com. As I read more about her experience and her own explanation of The Spoon Theory, I began to process more about my own experiences with illness, the years and years of surviving, and the fact that I often felt compelled to justify my pain, routine, diet, symptoms, and conditions...not just to others like family, friends, colleagues, but also to doctors and specialists. The simple way this theory explained a complex set of issues was a welcomed perspective.
As a health coach, part of my mission is supporting others who are in search of their own wellness. Whether or not you contend with chronic illness or pain, I guarantee that someone you know does. Understand that these folks can look like nothing is wrong and have often perfected the act. Due to stigma and disbelief, rejection, and feeling we may have need to hide the severity, frequency, breadth of our symptoms, we often carry on without others understanding. We may run or exercise--even at a seemingly advanced levels. We may be the first to volunteer when help is needed. We may even be caretakers ourselves.
This is an area where we can all provide support for others--whether we see their pain or just know it's there. We can try our best to learn more about what illness means for others. We can understand when someone may be out of spoons.
I hope his has been helpful for you. If you battle chronic illness and pain, perhaps this is a tool you can use if you feel the need to explain your situation to others. If you don't battle chronic illness or pain, perhaps this is a way you can help advocate for those who do.
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