When receiving safety instructions before a flight, they tell us to put our own oxygen mask on first for a very good reason. In order to care for others, we have to take care of ourself first. I would propose this is true on a consistent basis.
Selfless acts, showing kindness, and caring for others are all wonderful acts, and they make us feel good...there is nothing wrong with that in the least. In fact, those actions boost our happiness and well-being, and we should continue to find ways to do them. Doing things for other people fulfills needs we have as well.
We play many roles, and we often put others’ needs ahead of our own. While this may be necessary at times, our own self-love and nurturing should not stay on the back burner for long. Problems arise when acts and love for others is out of balance with our need for self-love. When we don’t ever have time to cultivate and show love for ourselves, we (and others) can face unpleasant consequences. Fatigue. Resentment. Burn-out.
Self-love is not selfish or indulgent. Self-love fills our cup and restores our energy. Taking the time and effort to cultivate self-love and a healthy relationship with ourselves is an important part of self-care and our holistic wellness.
So, how do we love ourselves? There are many ways, and it can look a bit different from one of us to the next. A good question to ask is, “What do I need (really need) right now?” Loving ourselves can mean taking care of our bodies with nourishing food, joyful movement, and stress reduction. It can also mean caring for yourself spiritually and emotionally. Loving yourself can be following through on making that doctor or dental appointment you’ve been meaning to make. Let’s also think about relationships; healthy relationships are vital. Established support and plans of action for when things get tough is a great way to care for yourself. Setting boundaries and enforcing them is also key.
As you can see, we may need different acts of self-love at different times. Understanding what you need to be happy and healthy may be a process, but it’s work well worth doing. You deserve love—especially from you!
Join me now, if you like, for a meditation of self-love. Be kind to yourself today. You are worth and deserving!
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